You read and hear about all these people who are exceptionally brilliant whilst somehow socially inept. They talk about having some fucked up shit happen to them when they were kids. Sometimes, it's so fucked up, they'd repressed the memory and only as adults they get it back. It is scary that something that happened so many years ago had such an impact on their lives. And will continue to do so. Like a little spot on their otherwise pristine childhood ruined their chances to be happy, or balanced, or normal.
And it makes you wonder. And it makes you fear and doubt your own reasons for being how you are.
But then, you'd rather believe things are good. And even if they are not, they will be soon enough. And you'd rather not think about what you may or may not remember. You decide you should be too busy participating, even if sometimes it feels forced and fake as hell. You try your best to do an impersonation of yourself having fun, being happy, remembering it, or caring. Making yourself pass as someone with actual vocal chords, or something mildly interesting to share with the person in front of you.
Even if people fail to see all your hard efforts to be an active part of things. Even when someone will think -time and again- that it's no excuse, and people who've had it so much worse are doing perfectly OK in all aspects.
Like they would -or could- know about "every aspect".
And it makes you wonder. And it makes you fear and doubt your own reasons for being how you are.
But then, you'd rather believe things are good. And even if they are not, they will be soon enough. And you'd rather not think about what you may or may not remember. You decide you should be too busy participating, even if sometimes it feels forced and fake as hell. You try your best to do an impersonation of yourself having fun, being happy, remembering it, or caring. Making yourself pass as someone with actual vocal chords, or something mildly interesting to share with the person in front of you.
Even if people fail to see all your hard efforts to be an active part of things. Even when someone will think -time and again- that it's no excuse, and people who've had it so much worse are doing perfectly OK in all aspects.
Like they would -or could- know about "every aspect".
0 comentarios:
Publicar un comentario