Cowardly, is what it is. Despicable. You self-centered son of a bitch.
I keep reading memoirs and autobiographies disguised as fiction, of men fighting their way through life trying hard not to become their fathers. Please, God, anything but their fathers. They grow to hate themselves deeper everytime they discover a new part of him in themselves. They fear these episodes and dread the moment the mirror is going to reflect their direct male ancestor looking back at them.
You read and hear and see these thing and you thing you get it, you understand. But you don't. Until you do.